apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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