on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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