Well douche your snatch and let's go!
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
