About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Randomize
