just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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