return my video game
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
and you fell through a lawn chair
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
