The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
i think my cat just said my name.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
