I just made out with a guy for $7.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize