So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
smell my finger.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
