What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
