I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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