Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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