I smell stomach acid.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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