Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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