So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
