I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
you traded sex for a burrito?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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