it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
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I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
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Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize