He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
