i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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