i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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