Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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