You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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