Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I don't deserve a penis
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Im part way to drunk.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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