This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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