im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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