Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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