Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
