Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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