What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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