I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
