i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
