Whod you bang
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
