Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
