Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
my sisters under your porch take her home
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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