on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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