Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize