sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
