Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
