I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
