Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
