My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
