this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I'm both gender and math confused
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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