"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
