i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
