I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
