god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
