i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
How does it feel to date your dad?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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