erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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