The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
