the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
