where am i from again
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize