She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
