They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
handjob tips. give me some.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
