8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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