Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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