I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
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A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
It's shark week go big or go home
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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