Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
