I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
