I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Less talking, more tequila
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
