i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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