when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize