at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
