i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
