I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
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