lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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